When Winning Hides Abuse

In view of everything dark that's surfacing in the world right now, I've found myself thinking a lot about something deeply disturbing from my time in junior tennis: an egregious case of sexual abuse involving multiple boys.

The perpetrator's name is public––he's currently in prison––but I won't mention it here. I don't want to risk further exposing the victims beyond what they've already endured.

The coach was well-known and had a popular academy that he ran on public courts in the area. This allowed him to charge the students lower rates and to operate without any oversight whatsoever. His players won a lot which gave him credibility. But in reality, he didn't know much about tennis. His players had poor fundamentals, though he pushed them hard, made grand, unrealistic promises, and built something that felt almost cult-like around himself.

Looking back, all the warning signs of a serial abuser were there. The kids in his academy didn't seem happy. They often openly cheated and behaved in anatagonistic, unsportsmanlike ways toward other players. The coach himself was totally unfriendly and unprofessional, and the same could be said for many of the parents. Even as a kid, I remember being totally confused by their behavior and feeling incredibly annoyed whenever I lost to one of them because the matches always felt really ugly.

There's another layer to the tragedy that makes it exponentially more disturbing: It took TWO trials to put this guy away. Initially, he was reported by a student, indicted, and tried––but the result was a hung jury. From what I understand, part of the reason for the mistrial was that several parents testified in the coach's defense. I honestly can't understand why the testimony of the child wasn't credible enough to lead to a conviction. Furthermore, even if there wasn't enough evidence to convict the guy, how did he go straight back to coaching in the same community?

Trusting parents continued to send their kids to him, truly believing in the quality of his program. Their children travelled alone with him to tournaments, where much of the abuse took place. The draw was simple: the kids he coached won a lot of matches. They were succeeding at something they were passionate about which had to be a good thing...except it wasn't.

Additionally, because he coached at public courts and his primary motivation was probably gaining access to victims, he kept his prices low. Tennis is an expensive sport that requires extensive of coaching. Frequently, parents feel resentful about how much money they need to spend on the sport. So I can imagine how his low fees may have created an impression that he was a decent man, motivated purely by the love of the game, not profit.

I think about this tragedy often because it affected my peers. Plus, all the red flags are so obvious in hindsight. To anyone paying attention, something was off. Clearly, no one was looking for sexual abuse; they were looking for tennis results. I'm assuming it was a failure of imagination on the part of the parents and the broader system. We want to trust people and not be constantly vigilant for predators. So of course I can't blame any one except the coach––but it's really hard not to question where the flaw in the system at large was.

Parents should pay attention to coaches who isolate themselves from the rest of the community. Legitimate coaches act professionally to their colleagues and role-model sportsmanlike conduct for their players. Some of the biggest warning signs of unethical coaches are the promises they make. "I can make your child a pro." Or, "Your child will be the best if you bring him to me." Those kinds of claims should raise immediate concerns. I'm not saying that everyone who makes false promises is dangerous but I am saying they should be viewed with suspicion. Every tennis parent wants to hear that their child can go far in the game but the reality is that there are too many factors involved in the journey for any coach to be able to promise such a thing.

The tennis community needs to do better. We must be unified in the purpose of protecting children while still competing against one another and developing top players.